Alice in COVIDland
“You’re not the same as you were before. You were much more muchier. You’ve lost your muchness.” The Mad Hatter – Alice in Wonderland I...
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Sarah Simone
- Feb 4, 2020
- 3 min
VICI the Small Wonder Robot Doesn’t Work Here
Raise your hand if you’ve ever been told to “leave your problems at the door?” Okay now keep your hands up if you thought to yourself,...
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Sarah Simone
- Jan 8, 2020
- 2 min
I'll Stand By You
Today there was a post on Facebook in one of the breast cancer support groups I’m in. A woman posted that she was waiting to go in for...
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Sarah Simone
- Jan 1, 2020
- 4 min
Let That Shit Go? No, sit in that shit. — A lesson from 2019
While I thought that 2018 was *one* of the hardest years I’ve ever had, 2019 came in saying “hold my beer bitch.” I started off the year...
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Sarah Simone
- Oct 29, 2019
- 3 min
Little Miss New Boobs
“There is a heart beneath the boobs and a brain beneath the wig.” — Dolly Parton Boobs…they come in all shapes, sizes, and feels. There...
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Sarah Simone
- May 15, 2019
- 6 min
The Elephant in the Room, Is it Me?
“I don’t hate you because you’re fat. You’re fat because I hate you.” Ah the wise words of Mean Girls. Tina Fey sure nailed the depiction...
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Sarah Simone
- Dec 15, 2018
- 2 min
The Holiday Spirit is BS
It’s the Holiday season and, for the most part, people are in good spirits. There’s a lot of Random Acts of Kindness going around. People...
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Sarah Simone
- Nov 15, 2018
- 1 min
Thanksmusing
I am thankful for….My patient husband, my unique and kind children, coffee, elastic waistbands, my best friend, my mom and sisters,...
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Sarah Simone
- Oct 15, 2018
- 5 min
Sex and the Titty(less)
We’re all adults right? Right? Well if you’re not, stop reading this immediately! For real though if you don’t know what NC-17 is or what...
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Sarah Simone
- Oct 1, 2018
- 2 min
Walk The Line
Do you have a calm place? I do. It’s my deep breathing, meditation space in my mind. There’s a gorgeous green field full of beautiful...
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Sarah Simone
- Jun 15, 2018
- 5 min
Mary Jane (MJ): A Smooth Criminal
Mary Jane and I have become good friends in the past month. Thankfully, I live in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania where this friendship...
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Sarah Simone
- May 23, 2018
- 2 min
Sooo…
Tomorrow is surgery day. I’m FINALLY getting this disgusting and life sucking sickness taken out. So why don’t I feel excited? Why...
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Sarah Simone
- May 10, 2018
- 3 min
Adventures of an MRI: Ride ’em Cowboy!
If you’ve never had an MRI you’ve probably heard all the stories that I also heard prior to my first one. Claustrophobia, getting on the...
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Sarah Simone
- May 5, 2018
- 3 min
I Wish I Was a Little Bit Jewish…and Taller Too
If you know me well, you know I want to be a Jew. It had to start somewhere right? I was 10 and we were learning about the Holocaust in...
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Sarah Simone
- May 1, 2018
- 3 min
Purgatory…It May As Well Be Hell
“It’s a harrowing experience to see death approaching in haste towards you, what is hell but confronting your own mortality” ― Bangambiki...
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Sarah Simone
- Apr 21, 2018
- 2 min
The Diagnosis: WTF - Part 2
The not knowing. It’s likely to cause true insanity. My mind has always been an interesting place to be. I have a wild imagination and my...
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Sarah Simone
- Apr 20, 2018
- 3 min
The Diagnosis: WTF
Balance. I’ve been searching for this my whole life. Yin and Yang. Hustle and Rest. Speaking my truth and embracing my stoicism. It...
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